Country musician Orville Peck nearly died of an overdose before a show in 2023, a crisis that led him to cancel a year of touring and enter treatment.
Now, on his new album “Mule,” Peck reflects on addiction, recovery and learning to live with what he can — and can’t — control.
“For people who aren’t familiar with your story, can you share what happened in 2023 that brought you into this crisis?”
“It was a series of crazy events. It was back when I had just put out Bronco (2022), and I had this kind of massive shift in success or schedule. I was crazy busy. I was very overworked and overwhelmed, trying to navigate a career that I never really anticipated having when I was younger. And then, to cope with that, I was a very functioning alcoholic and drug addict. And then my partner left me, in part because of where I was at. And then it sort of just spiraled into this chain of events where suddenly I couldn’t really control anything anymore. And I had kind of a mental breakdown. And I checked myself into a treatment center and canceled my touring for a year, and I wasn’t sure what the future was going to be.”
Your song “Already Gone” is about reaching the idea that it’s time to clean up and go into rehab. In the video, it’s kind of amusing, actually. You don’t look very pleased to be in rehab. I’m curious, did you resist getting help at first, or did it take you some time to see that you needed that help?”
“Well, I think there are different forms of resistance. I didn’t resist going. I went. And then the resistance started sort of behind my eyes, I think, while I was in treatment.
“I, like a lot of addicts, believed that I didn’t have a problem. I was looking at everyone else in the treatment center and thinking, ‘Oh, boy, these people are really sick.’ Like, this isn’t me. These people have a problem. All I have to do is get a little rest. I’ve been working really hard. I’ve been going through a lot. I just got to get my drinking under control. And, you know, I’ll be fine. I don’t really need all of this other stuff that’s going on.
“So, what you see in the video is sort of this dark-humor take, because I was sort of rolling my eyes at the whole thing, because I was just an egotistical addict and hadn’t really come to grips with the fact that I had a problem or what I needed to do to find a solution.”
You talk about how the problem came to the surface when these events in your life were unfolding, your fame was rising and you had left a relationship. But did you have inklings of this in your life before? Sort of like all the lights turned on?
“I had my first drink, I think, when I was 15 years old, and I played in punk bands and was a traveling musician for over 20 years. So, for the majority of my career, even before I started making country music, I was in an environment where drinking and drugs were sort of commonplace and very normalized. And I would go on stage having at least a few beers, probably drink a few more on stage, and then drink some more afterwards. It was very acceptable, still is very acceptable, in a lot of these kinds of environments. And so I didn’t realize that that started to become a coping mechanism. And then when my life started to fall apart, I think I really leaned on this thing that had sort of been surreptitiously lurking the whole time.”
Forgive me, but I want to ask you about the mask that you’re almost always wearing. It’s part of this persona that you’ve developed as Orville Peck. Do you just kind of groan when people ask you about it?
“I used to, definitely, for a long time. I joke that my mask and I are like a married couple, and we do a lot of couples therapy over the years. There was honestly a time when I really resented the mask. I hated the attention that it started to bring me. I hated people’s takes on it. It started to kind of — I really started to not like it.
“And then there’s been moments in my life where I’ve been so incredibly grateful that I’ve had the mask for various reasons of my privacy. And so it’s been sort of like a roller coaster with the mask, but I can happily say that I’m really happy now. I don’t think about it very much. Like, I truly just put it on like I put my socks on when I’m working, and I kind of just roll with it. I have a lot of fun with it again. Like, I brought my fringe back, and I kind of mix it up every now and then. It’s just a part of my expression as an artist. It’s no deeper than that anymore.”
Considering what we were talking about earlier, I’m wondering if, at some point, taking it off would be helpful for you?
“I did Broadway last year. I was very lucky; I played the Emcee in Cabaret, which was a lifelong dream for me. And I took the mask off for that because I’m playing a character. And I didn’t want to make it anything about my personal expression as an artist. And it kind of freed me, you know, to make the decision that when I want to, if I want to, I can take it off.
“I am going to be doing a lot more acting in the future again, because it’s another passion of mine that I’d put on the back burner for a long time. And so whenever I’m playing a role that doesn’t require the mask, I’ll take it off, even if that’s film or whatever, and that’s kind of where I’m at with it now. I feel comfortable taking it off for something that’s important. I’m very comfortable.”
Could you talk about what it is like and what it’s been like for you to come out of the darkness that you were in?
“It saved my life, literally. It has taught me what I need to do, not only to navigate this industry and show business or whatever you want to call it, but it’s also just what I need to do to navigate myself. I think my life was in crisis, and that’s part of the reason I was drinking so much. But for me, drinking was the solution to much more than just that moment. And those moments could come again in my life. And so I’ve learned that I just have to be really on top of my recovery and on top of all the things that make me feel good about myself and healthy.”
Is part of you still somewhat fearful about what’s ahead?
“Of course. I think if you’re not afraid these days, you’re probably not paying attention. But the thing I’ve found a lot of comfort in through the 12-step program and sobriety is that there’s very, very little that we are in control of in our lives. And we spend so much time just desperately trying to control things. I know I did. And so I find a lot of peace these days in just letting go of what I can’t control and just being really on top of what I can, which is how I react to things, how I treat people. Just that kind of stuff is really just my focus because, you know, the rest is just a losing battle.”
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Emiko Tamagawa produced and edited this interview for broadcast with Micaela Rodríguez. Tamagawa also produced it for the web.
This article was originally published on WBUR.org.
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